Outfits of the Week | Work

It's been two weeks since I started working at my full time job in the city. On my first day, I felt like the new kid at school. Take away the school part, and in comes the new land of adulthood. I felt like I was thrown into a world of successful business people, overhearing stories of their significant others, experience being a new parent, and such. It helped calm my nerves that I was met with such a warm welcome in the office, being in a completely new setting and all. Now that I have a 9-5 work schedule, my life feels like it's strictly routine, making me really appreciate the weekends. Gone are the days of spontaneous midnight baking and movie marathons. It also makes me miss school. I've had many moments where I miss the college life, and that felt like it was ages ago when I graduated only last month. Time is such a tricky thing. Anyway, surviving the first few days at my post-grad job, check. Feeling like an adult, uh not check. Most of the time, I still feel like a kid; a kid who mistakenly got shoved into the real world. 

With a new job, comes new clothes! I was pretty excited realizing that I get to give my wardrobe a few changes. After making some purchases for proper work attire and pushing my casual wears to the back of the closet, I have yet to accept the fact that I'm not a student anymore. Clothes are for making impressions. They can give you a confidence boost, but it's not a permanent thing. Sure, the dress shirts and blouses make me look like I'm dressed for the part, but really on the inside, I'm still as confused and scared as ever. You are not what you wear. But I'm a firm believer in having fun with your personal style and making a statement, all the while keeping in mind that the things that really matter are skin deep and they are the things the eyes cannot see. (I was reminded of this when I was on social media the other day).

Finally getting around to the content relevant to this post title; below are my outfits for the week of July 20th. 

{ Monday }

top: ASOS

bottom: Vera Wang

shoes: BP.

bag: Urban Outfitters

{ Tuesday }

top: H&M

bottom: H&M

shoes: BP.

{ Wednesday }

top: Banana Republic cardigan, Express shirt

bottom: Uniqlo

shoes: Kimchi Blue from UO

{ Thursday }

dress: Ann Taylor

shoes: Kimchi Blue from UO

{ casual Friday }

top: Banana Republic

bottom: Uniqlo

shoes: ALDO

Review: 3 things from TBS

Aloe Gentle Exfoliator

With the help of this product, I'm hoping it would get me into the habit of exfoliating daily to remove my stubborn blackheads. It's gentle and non-irritating. Though it's fragrance-free, it has a salicylic acid smell to me. It's faint, so it doesn't bother me. It cleared away the blackheads on my nose after the first use, but the stubborn ones managed to come back days later. I will definitely be holding onto this one to see if it makes any long-term differences for my skin. The exfoliator is no longer available on The Body Shop's website, but you can find their Aloe Gentle facial wash here.

 Color Crush Eyeshadow

This is a classic nude color in the shade Champagne & Gold. It's versatile, as it can be used as a base or on its own. It blends easily and is never cakey. I like to dab some on my inner eye corners for a brightening look. The shade has a bit of shimmer, but it's very subtle and doesn't get all over my face. The only downside is that it comes in a small size (it's about the same size as the Nivea lip butter), so price may not seem reasonable. 

Hand Cream 

Whenever I use this mango hand cream, it makes me think of a fruit stand in the summer time. It has a light citrus scent that lingers for a while after application. The gel-like cream absorbs easily, and the non-greasy formula leaves my skin feeing very soft. The twist cap can sometimes be too much to bother with, but the packaging looks nice and elegant!

Look out for a monthly favs (and not-so-favs) video from me where I will be mentioning some of these things!

...so I graduated from college

"We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time." Excuse me while I borrow a line from Taylor Swift's 22 as I try to put my feelings about post-grad life into words. Who am I kidding, I can relate to the Queen of Pop's words all the time. All my confusing feelings about being a 21-year-old have heightened being that I am fresh out of school, having no real sense of direction of where I'm going in life. No longer a child, but not quite an adult either. Man, I had no idea the post would turn dire so quickly, let me do a 360 degree turn and share some bits & pieces of my graduation day with you: 

June 14th was a special, yet overwhelming day. It was the day of my college commencement, a bittersweet milestone marking the end of four beautiful years spent in college, while introducing a new chapter of my life. That morning was hectic, to say the least. My housemates and I were running around the apartment, greeting family and friends, while getting ready for the whole ceremony. To think it got that crazy on a graduation day, I can't begin to imagine how a bride must feel on her wedding day. My friends and I actually joked about that, thinking this was probably nothing compared to a wedding day. After having my roommate's aunt touch up on my eye makeup and put on some fake eyelashes, I was out the door for the ceremony check-in, but not before devouring two chocolate chip cookies. I considered that my breakfast. 

In the summer-like heat, cheers and celebratory moods filled the air, as the Class of 2015 made its way into the official ceremony. It was an amazing feeling seeing all the proud faces of parents and loved ones. The ceremony lasted a little over an hour, but felt longer being that we were seated under the blazing sun. As for the moment of walking on stage to receive my diploma, honestly, everything from the handshake to receiving a scroll felt like a blur. I was too focused on listening for my cue to walk on stage, and trying to avoid tripping that I couldn't process everything in time. Or in other words, I was nervous. It wasn't until after I returned to my seat that I realized there was photographer who was only standing a few feet away from me on stage, capturing the once-in-a-lifetime moment. (facepalm)

After the ceremony, the real photo sessions broke out. From left and right, high and low, pictures were taken from all sides and all angles. Looking back, it was quite possibly the last time everyone will be together in one place. Now that college is over, we are all going our separate ways, as we embark on the next chapter of our lives. Who knows when the next time I'll be seeing all the amazing people I've met in college, knowing that life will most likely get in the way. The hardest part of all the goodbyes wasn't the fact I'll be leaving the place I've called home for the past four years, it was leaving the people (friends, professors, co-workers, mentors, etc) that made my experience here in college all worthwhile. I'm going to miss my roommates the most. All those late-night talks, spontaneous gym sessions, baking adventures, and long study nights may not sound much to an outsider, but they mean a lot to me and I feel very lucky to have been a part of it all. Though we are all in different places, I believe that sometimes distance brings out the best friendships, and true friends are never apart, even when the distance says otherwise. The quote below says it better: 

"True friends never apart maybe in distance but never in heart"

- Helen Keller

As always, onto my favorite part: photos!

{ with my roommates; p.s. I'm on the left }

{ commencement; stage is the white tent on the left }

{ seated for the ceremony }

{ cued to walk on stage }

{ after the commencement ceremony } 

{ being silly }

{ family selfie as a post-graduate !! }

Who I am

There is something I want to get off my chest. Being that I generally have a hard time opening up about my fears and insecurities, I thought this would be a safe medium for me to express my anxious thoughts. It’s impossible to not sound dramatic when I say this, but I’m in a bit of a crisis in my life, more specifically I’d like to call it the “quarter-life crisis”. I’ve been feeling extremely lost and confused about what my long-term life plans are and have felt this way for a long time now. Ever since freshman year of college, I worried about the unforeseeable future, and not knowing where I see myself 5, 10, or even 15 years down the line. I kept these flustering thoughts in the back of my head, and every once in a while, they would creep up on me and make me go into moments of panic and stress. But I reminded myself that I was in college, a place where people grow and find themselves, and where great opportunities are just around the corner. I convinced myself I had plenty of time to experience new things and discover my passion, so I chose not to dwell on the gloomy subject and made the best out of every moment in college. Being the stubborn optimist that I am, I said to myself that things would have a way of working themselves out and when the timing is right, I’ll have it figured out. Now three years later and only a few months away from my college graduation, I am in the exact same predicament as I was when I first started college; lost and confused, and haven’t the slightest clue about what I want to do with my life. 

Being a soon-to-be college grad means I get asked countless questions about my plans after graduation. What are you going to do after graduating? What sort of jobs are you looking into? Will you be living at home with your parents? My insides turn a little every time I think about my responses to these questions, because it reminds me of how close I am to going out into the real world. I admit that I’m the non-confrontational type; I tend to avoid conflicts and run away from my problems. When I sense trouble ahead, I either look the other way or find a way to avoid it. It’s not a healthy thing to do, but it’s what I’ve always done. So when these questions arise from time to time, I would feel apprehensive about my so-called crisis for a few days, and let myself be distracted by the daily things in my life. It wasn't until a couple of days ago that I realized the reason I've been feeling so down lately is that I’m emotionally unprepared for the next chapter of my life. I'm at such a crucial point in my life, yet I feel completely and utterly lost. Since I’ve been avoiding to address this crisis of mine, it’s affected my mood, which brings me back to finding an outlet to getting these uneasy feelings off my chest.

For someone who doesn't like to focus on the negatives and is rarely ever upset for more than ten minutes, it’s hard for me to talk about such a nerve-wracking topic. Part of me was reluctant to share, because putting my feelings into words made it all seem too real and too scary for me to grasp. I have the Internet to thank for giving me the courage to write about my anxious thoughts, as it all started when I was going through my long feed of blog posts the other day. I stumbled across a somewhat vague, yet relatable post from Christine, a Youtuber whom I've followed for a while now. In a rather personal post, she wrote about some of the things I myself have been facing, such as being at crossroads in life, and being distracted by our daily routine that we often forget to look at the bigger picture. Reading her "predicament" surprised me in a good way because her words were so raw and touched me on a personal level, thus revealing a sense of realness that made it easy for me to relate to. Though I’ve only known her on the Youtube front and admired her work from afar, reading her thoughts and feelings reminded me that we’re not so different, as we are all trying to find our places in life.

Coincidentally, within the same week, I was watching Youtuber Ingrid Nilsen’s March Favorite’s video, where she asked a powerful question: “Who are you?” As soon as I heard it, dots were connecting in my head and these three simple words had brought up all the unwanted emotions that I was trying hard to avoid. So many different answers can come from this short question, and I have no doubt each comes with a compelling story to tell. To answer the question "Who are you": I am a confused 21 year old, who will soon be graduating from college, and I feel hopelessly lost about what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m the kind of person who holds onto every bit of that childlike wonder, and is always looking on the bright side. I tell myself to worry less, and do more as I try to find a place where I truly belong, both personally and professionally.

As if the blog post and the video weren’t clear enough signs from the universe telling me to face my problem, the day after, the post titled “I’m graduating college and I am absolutely terrified” from HelloGiggles popped up on my blog feed. From being this close to finishing a full-time education to feeling uncertain about the future, it’s like the writer read my mind and voiced all the thoughts that have been taking over in my head. This leads me to talk about my own version of how I feel about graduating college, which throws me right into my quarter-life crisis. Each day that passes puts me closer to going out into the real world, and boy, am I terrified. Aside from friends and family asking about my post-graduation plans, I constantly have my own set of questions going through my head. What am I going to do after I graduate? Am I going to have to move back home? How am I going to pay back my student loans? Then my optimistic self would come in and I would tell myself it’s okay to feel this way, and that everything will work out in the end. Of course, then I revert to my anxious state, and blame myself for being such a disappointment to my parents. It’s an endless cycle that always leaves me feeling torn, confused, frustrated.

I think the root to my quarter-life crisis is that I have been so accustomed to holding onto my identity as a student that I am unsure of what my next role will be, causing major anxiety. We all take on roles in this world. Whether you’re a mother, athlete, or entertainer, we belong to a category that has a set of pre-wired social standards. I’ve been raised with the idea that occupation defines us and shapes the path we go on. The thought of having to figure out what I plan to do for the rest of my life, and the possibility of being defined by the career path that I choose to take, is seriously terrifying. All my life I’ve spent in school and have done what has been expected from me, there were always assignments to complete and deadlines to meet in school. Frankly, I thought that as long as I did my work and played my role of a good student, I would be on the right track. Clearly, it’s not so simple. In my four years of college and living on my own, I’ve learned that life is a journey, filled with many trials and obstacles. In every challenge that we face, we become a little wiser and better at figuring out how this life thing works.

As I look back on Christine’s post, listen to Ingrid’s answer to the question “who are you”, and bring up the bookmarked article on graduating college, I realize that I’m not alone in this. Like Maya Angelou once said, “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” Everyone is on a different path, but ultimately I think we are all searching for the same things, and trying to find our place in this world. Though I’m being pulled in all directions in terms of my future plans, I understand that it’s a process I have to go through. My journey has only begun, and being the true optimist that I am, I know that the bad, the good, and everything in between that come my way will shape me into the person I want to be in the future.

Source: 

Via Xteeener 

Via Youtube 

Via HelloGiggles